Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Excuse me, but you have a TREE coming out of your eye !

I remember being a teenager in a bad relationship. That "on-again/off-again"

relationship lasted well into my adulthood.  I could not seem to

"shake it off" even though I knew it would never go anywhere (which it did

not). I did so many things to "make it work". I made a fool of myself

repeatedly for the sake of "love". I did not have enough respect for

myself as a woman to know that I was much more valuable than I was

being treated or much more valuable than I thought myself to be.

Looking back, I remember so many people (friends and family) criticizing me for

putting up a fight to make that relationship work. I was mocked, ridiculed and

put down because I refused to take "no" for an answer. Granted, people's concerns

were based on the fact that I was taken for "a fool" but why did very few people even try

to give me healthy and sane advice ? I was young and  I wanted to try everything that I could to have a

successful relationship, like my parents did (and still do) especially after my child came into the equation.

Once my son was born (when I was 19 yrs old), for me, the fight to "make it work" became all the

more serious and the critics became even more mean and brutal at that point.

With the exception of my mother, none of my "critics" really had the guts to

tell me to my face that I was a fool or at least to give me some good advice. I

guess it was just easier and more entertaining to watch the "train wreck". I

know that many of my "critics" proclaimed: "Um, that will never be me ! I would

never do that ! What is she thinking ? She is blind." The funny thing is that I

know where my "critics" are today and I am so glad that I am not them. Yeah, some of my "verbal

attackers" never went through exactly what I went through but their children have; their children

have been through that and much worse.

What then do my critics have to say now about all the trash that they threw my way ?? Was

it worth dragging me through the mud ? It is not so great seeing your child in a

bad situation, now is it ? Now YOU, who have a child in a bad relationship or a

child struggling with other issues (drugs, street life, jail, baby mama/baby daddy drama)

want to keep those issues a SECRET. Or YOU that are not where you thought you would be today "act"

happy but in reality you are miserable. You do not want anyone to know about your personal life.

Yet, because I have always been sincere and open about my feelings and have always wore my

heart on my sleeve (basically been an open book), I was judged brutally. My personal life appeared to have

grabbed your attention back then for the sake of criticizing me. Do not be a

hypocrite ! You had the nerve to speak ill things about me yet now you want to

keep your own "family secrets" away from everyone else !?!? How amusing is that

  I don't need to know the details of your life or anyone else's for that matter but you should

not have made my failures your own personal amusement.

Life is only dealing you that which you thought would never reach you: "Not me !" You got

cocky and probably even had a good laugh on my account. I am in a better place

today, thanks to God's grace, love and mercy. I am happily married to a wonderful man who loves and

respects me in ways that I never thought I would be. I am able to say that the bad

relationship I endured (by choice) made me a stronger person. It was a learning experience that I will use

to help others (even my own children) if they allow me to.

I do not wish bad on anyone, ever. I simply hope that you have learned your

lesson and you teach your children to Never Say: "Never!" but rather teach them to

always say: "I am no exception and should not criticize others".

by: Xela

"Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will
repay,' says the Lord."
(Romans 12:19)

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. "
(Matthew 7:3-5)

"Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give.”
(William Arthur Ward)

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